Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Fuck if I know. That’s a stupid phrase. Let’s take a look at the newly reintroduced to Missouri, Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye.

Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye Label

Wow, this is one loud label. Did Guy Fieri design this? Seriously, if this isn’t… *knocked unconscious* GUY FIERI HERE WITH ANOTHER EPISODE OF TRIPLE D! YOU GET IT? DINERS, DRIVE-INS, AND DIVES ALL SHORTENED TO JUST THE FIRST LETTER! I’M HERE IN SAINT LOUIE, GATEWAY TO THE EAST, FILMING A NEW EPISODE, WHEN I SAW THIS BEER LABEL ON THE SHELF AND I WAS LIKE “WOOOOAH! THIS LABEL IS OUTTA BOUNDS!!”

WHEN I THINK OF HOT RODS, THE FIRST THING THAT POPS IN MY HEAD IS MY 1952 CHEVY STUDEBAKER DELUXE ROAD RAMBLER! THIS BABY IS JUST FOUR WHEELS OF SEXINESS! I CAN PICK UP SEXY ROAD BABES LEFT AND RIGHT IN THIS CHICKARINO MAGNET! DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW SMOOTH THAT SANSABELT INTERIOR FEELS ON MY BARE ASS! VA VA VA VROOOOOOOM!!!

WHEN I’M LOOKING FOR A BEER, I’M LOOKING FOR A MIKE TYSON PUNCH TO THE TASTE BUDS AND THIS BEER LABEL JUST SCREAMS BOLD FLAVORS! HOPS! RODS! AND RYES!! IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I’M A HUGE FAN OF RYE! I PUT IT IN EVERYTHING! RYE IS LIKE THE NICKELBACK OF THE FOOD WORLD, CHURNING OUT HIT AFTER ROCKIN’ HIT FOR YEARS! AIR GUITAR!!!!

ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE THIS BEER, IS BECAUSE IT’S MADE IN GOOD OLE CALI-FORN-EYE-A! WHEN I’M CRUISING DOWN THE PCH IN SWEET MAGGIE JANE (YOU CAN”T BE MONEY LIKE ME UNLESS YOU NAME YOUR CAR!), SIPPING ON A BODACIOUS BEER LIKE THIS, I CAN’T HELP TO GET A LITTLE TEARY EYED! THAT’S RIGHT, EVEN YOUR BOY GUY “MACHETE” FIERI CRIES SOMETIMES! JUST SO MANY GREAT THINGS ABOUT THIS STATE, INCLUDING JOHNNY GARLIC’S!

THAT’S RIGHT, HEAD ON DOWN TO JOHNNY GARLIC’S AND YOU CAN PAIR THIS KILLER BEER WITH ALL KINDS OF EVEN KILLERER FOOD ITEMS! MAYBE START IF OFF WITH THE ‘NACHO ORDINARY KISS ASS NACHOS!’! FOR THE MAIN COURSE, YOU HAVE TO TRY THE ‘BURGER? I HARDLY KNOW HER!’! OR, IF YOU’RE A PUSSY VEGETARIAN, TRY THE ‘GRASS N’ SHIT VEGGIE BURGER!’! NEXT STOP, FLAVOR TOWN!!!!

WELL, THAT DOES IT FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF TRIPLE D! THERE ARE A LOT OF BEERS OUT THERE, BUT VERY FEW THAT ARE ACTION PACKED WITH BOLD FLAVORS THAT CAN SATISFY YOUR BOY, GUY “FLAVOR GUY” FIERI. AND EVERY BOLD BEER DESERVES A KICK ASS LABEL LIKE THIS! WINNER, WINNER, BEER DINNER!!!

11 / 10 ON GUY’S BODACIOUS BEER BUYING SCALE OF BOLDNESS!