It’s Thursday, which means it’s time to take another trip into the wonderful world of beer labels. This time, we’ll take a look at the soon to be released 4 Hands Prussia.
Ah, Prussia. The good ole days of Germany. Looking back at the history of Germany, it’s really weird that there’s just not much information about what happened with them between 1920-1950. I mean, we all know they lost pretty bad in World War I, but what happened after that? It’s like they hibernated for a while, then built the Berlin Wall and everybody got pissed at them again.
One of Prussia’s most famous kings is mentioned on the side of the label, Frederick the Great. But what was so great about Frederick? Well, one reason is he could make beer. That’s pretty fucking great. He was also a gifted flutist. That’s…something.
Perhaps the greatest part of Frederick is that he was a fully functioning human even though his parents were cousins. His parents’ first two attempts at incest babies didn’t turn out so well and they died early. It makes you wonder, is incest really that bad? I don’t know, scientists are still working on an answer to that.
Well, now that we’re up to speed on the history of Prussia, let’s talk about the rest of the label. Not sure what a Berliner Style Weiss is but 4 Hands thought about that ahead of time and clarified that this is a Tart Wheat Ale. Label makers should take note of this. There are a lot of weird styles out there and some of them are in different languages. Just explain what the hell is in the bottle in English and we’ll be happy.
On the side, 4 Hands even goes the extra mile and tells us what we should eat with this beer. It’s a good thing, though, they told us that picture was eggs benedict, because I don’t think anyone would know what that picture is. They have to be the first person in the history of art to try and draw eggs benedict in black and white, because it’s impossible.
Art Dealer: Hey man, I need you to draw a picture of eggs benedict. In black and white.
Artist: Are you fucking insane? How in the hell am I supposed to convey the intricate layers of eggs benedict in BLACK AND WHITE?!
Art Dealer: Seems like the hardest part would be the hollandaise…
Artist: NO SHIT! Nobody can draw hollandaise in black and white. NOBODY!
We learned a lot today. We learned that Prussia is just another word for “old Germany”. We learned that incest may turn out to be a good thing. We also learned that drawing eggs benedict using only black ink is really fucking hard. Considering this beer is only 3.5% ABV, we can sit back and drink a bunch of these and ponder all that we have learned.
6.8 / 10 on the Buyability Scale™.